Before introducing a relational approach, behaviour across the school was often challenging and unpredictable. Incidents of physical aggression between pupils were common, some children spent significant periods of time outside classrooms rather than engaged in learning, and there were frequent occurrences of pupils leaving lessons, refusing adult requests or displaying behaviours that compromised safety.

 

Pupil voice highlighted a lack of confidence in the consistency of behaviour management across the school. Children reported that responses to behaviour varied between adults and many actively sought out members of staff whom they perceived to be fair and trustworthy to resolve issues.

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When I joined the school as Headteacher, it was clear that inconsistent practices across the school had created challenges for both staff and pupils. This affected feelings of safety, consistency and trust, highlighting the need for a shared approach centred on respect, relationships and high expectations.

 

Our ambition was to create a positive and consistent school culture where high expectations, both academically and behaviourally, were shared and championed by all stakeholders. Serving a community facing significant disadvantage, we recognised the vital role the school plays in shaping pupils' futures. By fostering positive behaviour, strong relationships and a culture of respect, we aimed to improve children's life chances, ensuring they were able to learn well, thrive and succeed both within school and beyond.

 

We began by listening carefully to the voices of all stakeholders, with staff expressing a clear desire for greater consistency and a shared approach. To establish a common understanding, every member of staff received a copy of When the Adults Change, with key chapters forming the foundation of our professional development programme. Through a series of collaborative staff meetings, we explored the principles of the book, developed shared expectations and co-constructed the scripts and approaches that would underpin our practice.

 

From there, we worked together to create clear policies and communicate our vision to pupils and families. Recognising that sustainable change takes time, we adopted a consistent and incremental approach. Key messages and agreed scripts were revisited regularly through weekly staff briefings, while assemblies provided ongoing opportunities to reinforce expectations with children.

 

A significant shift in culture came through our deliberate focus on teaching behaviour explicitly rather than assuming children already knew what was expected. Alongside this, staff made a conscious effort to notice, acknowledge and celebrate the positive behaviours they wanted to see more of. Over time, this helped establish a more positive and predictable environment across the school.

The simplicity of the new approach made it easy to communicate expectations to children and staff alike, enabling consistency to be established quickly across the school. Staff rapidly began to see the positive impact of a shared language and clear routines, while pupils experienced a greater sense of fairness and predictability. As confidence in the approach grew, so too did collective commitment to it. The visible improvements in behaviour, relationships and classroom climate reinforced trust in the process, creating momentum for further positive change and embedding a culture where everyone understood what was expected and felt supported in achieving it.

 

Whilst restorative conversations initially presented a challenge (children learned to say what adults wanted to hear and the adults accepted this) continued support, practice and reflection enabled staff to develop confidence in using them effectively. As a result, these conversations became an increasingly powerful tool for helping children understand the impact of their actions, repair relationships and make positive choices in the future.

As we enter the fourth year of our journey, the focus has shifted from implementation to refinement. The approach is now firmly embedded within the culture of the school, with a shared understanding of our expectations and a collective belief that high standards for behaviour and learning can be achieved by all children. What was once a significant change initiative has become part of “the way we do things here”, providing consistency, stability and confidence for staff, pupils and families alike.

 

Looking ahead, we recognise the importance of strengthening our partnership with parents and carers. Many families face challenges in establishing consistent boundaries at home, and we see great value in supporting them to adopt approaches that align with those used in school. We are therefore planning more targeted work in this area next year, drawing on the principles of When the Parents Change to further strengthen the home-school partnership and maximise the positive impact for children.

 

Alongside this, we continue to develop staff understanding of how our approach can be applied with flexibility when supporting pupils with additional needs. Whilst maintaining our high expectations for all, we are working to ensure that staff feel confident in adapting strategies appropriately for children with SEND, balancing consistency with compassion and individual support. This ongoing refinement reflects our commitment to ensuring that every child feels understood, supported and able to succeed.

 

My advice would be to trust the process and remain committed to the approach, even when working in the most challenging contexts. Meaningful cultural change does not happen overnight, but with consistency, patience and collective belief, the impact can be transformational. Stay true to your core principles, give the approach time to become embedded, and recognise that small, incremental changes often lead to the most sustainable improvements.

 

Equally important is continuing to listen to your staff team throughout the journey. By valuing their experiences, responding to feedback and maintaining open dialogue, you create a sense of shared ownership that strengthens implementation. Regularly revisiting key messages, expectations and strategies through ongoing professional conversations helps to keep the approach alive and ensures that consistency is maintained over time.

 

When the Adults Change was a truly inspiring read and played a significant role in shaping our thinking and practice. The real-life examples and stories shared throughout the book are both powerful and thought-provoking, bringing the principles to life in a way that resonates with school leaders and practitioners alike.

 

Having the opportunity to hear Paul speak in person added another dimension entirely. His passion, authenticity and wealth of experience reinforced the messages from the book and made them even more impactful. While the book itself is an invaluable resource, I would highly recommend attending one of Paul's live events if the opportunity arises, as hearing the stories and principles first-hand really brings them to life and strengthens your belief in what can be achieved.